What To Do When You Discover You Are Not The One

Yoann Boyer

One of the hardest things you can deal with in life is discovering that the person you had set your heart and mind on as “the one” does not think the same of you. This revelation can shake you to the core, bringing up a lot of emotions you might have never felt before – emotions you might find hard to control. But how do you deal with this delicate situation?

Remain composed, despite the hurt.

The truth is that this bit of news will hurt you deeply - there is no getting around it. But that is alright because it's part of the healing process. However, even though you will need some time to mend the broken pieces back together and move on with your life, you cannot mishandle this devastating piece of news.

Immediately, you are told that your sentiments are misplaced, respect that decision. Yes, it will be tough, and you will have to muster every last bit of your strength and find the composure necessary to be polite, respectful, and accepting of the bitter pill that you have to swallow, but this is precisely what you will have to do.

Accept it and focus on the future.

You have to accept the bad news by letting go of the hopes you had placed for that person. Remember that others have gone through that, or worse. So, you can survive it as well. Do not grovel in self-pity or self-hate, and do not pass judgment on the person – at least they had the courage to tell you the truth before you got even more entangled with them.

There is life after the hurt.

Think of this – you had a life before you met them, a happy one probably – and you can still have a life after they are gone. Besides, at the end of the day, happiness comes from within, and nobody can really make you happy or unhappy; it’s all about your attitude.

If you decide to move on with your life after the heartbreaking news, you will be happy. You will discover you can still have a fulfilling life without them. Nobody can love you more than you can love yourself, and you do not have to depend on someone to be happy either, as long as you are willing to let go and leave the past where it belongs.

Look on the bright side.

It might take a little while to move on with your life, but it is very possible. You will discover that being told you are not the one was a blessing in disguise. That is because finding joy and satisfaction in life is about having people who actually deserve to be part of your life.

It is not your fault that someone does not think of you as you would like them to. We are all responsible for our own thoughts towards others, good or bad. So, if you thought they were the one and they don't think the same, it is not their fault. So, do not blame them. This is life, and we are allowed to make a few mistakes, even when they end up hurting us. Do not blame yourself either - it is not your fault. You simply took a chance, and it did not work out.

The important thing to remember is that you followed your heart; and one day, it will lead you to the romantic joys you desire out of life. So, have no regrets about that episode of your life. Learn from the experience, accept the hard truth, and most importantly, focus on a brighter and better future filled with the kind of love you deserve.

Admitting that you are alright despite the pain of losing the person you thought would walk life's journey with you is a sign that you are hopeful that the future has even better rewards in store for you. So, move on and from this setback, find happiness and focus on bettering yourself. After all, the perfect one for you will think the world of you; and if he is the one for you, then you have no businesses obsessing over past heartbreaks. So, move on with your life and find the "the one" that is truly deserving of you.