Timing is crucial, it unveils everything in its due course. Perhaps I am in the wrong place or relationship. One thing I want to ask you is not to fall in love with me now. I don’t have the perfect idea of what your appearance is. I don’t know what you like.
I don’t know if you are a brunette or a blond, short or tall, have brown or blue eyes, or even if you are Jewish or Catholic. Right now, I don’t want you to fall in love with me because I may be a mess to you and unprepared for our future.
I want to know myself first because that is the best way I can know you. According to Socrates, “Know thyself”. This is what I have decided I'm doing. I don’t want to put you in the stress of me not understanding myself. The best gift I can offer is understanding my personality and integrating it into who you are.
I like what Appleby said, “Friendship is the great opportunity to demonstrate our capacity for lofty and ennobling relationships without the motive of selfishness”. How can I be selfless if I don’t love me?
True friendship is based on love. If I don’t love myself, how can I be a good friend to myself? I do not want you to suffer the pain of a false friendship. I don’t want you to fall in love with me now. I need to build a friendship with myself and it doesn’t happen overnight.
Currently, I am a total mess due to addictions beyond my control. I am being held back by my habits and I don’t want to drag you backward. I don’t want you to be hurt by my past. I don’t want you to be entangled by my mistakes and habits. I want to make things right before I ever meet you. I don’t need someone who will be influenced by my pain.
I am a mess without standards for my life and I don’t know what I believe in. I am an extemporaneous disaster from time to time. I am in a whirlwind and don't want you to be hurt because of me. The truth is I can get over my pains; it will just take time. Perhaps it is a way of making me stronger. However that pain may be, it is not what I want you to experience. Therefore, if it is possible don’t fall in love with me yet.
Having someone who you constantly keep in touch with every second is important. Having a friend that checks up on you every month could be heartwarming. Maybe we could continue as friends sharing the best moments, tour the world, or do things real friends do. We could share our deepest secrets, fears, and obsessions. However, whatever we do I beg you don’t make the mistake of falling in love with me. I love you too much to hurt you.