Looking back on my life, a few things stand out. I have lived life on the safer side, trying to please my bosses, family, or whomever I considered friends. Most of my life, I have been the reliable one, the one you can call on at 2 am. However, you realize when you live a life like I have, people tend to step on you to reach their dreams. They borrow money from you with no intention of paying back. They ask you to babysit their children, even when its way out of your convenience.
When you live a life like this, you seem to lose self-confidence and respect in yourself. It got to a point in my life where I was worn out and had no energy for anything. At that point, I decided to put on my big girl stilettos and grab life by the horns.
As Bryon Katie puts it, "Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror." I was determined to love myself, put my affairs first, and went for what I really wanted in life. I decided to have self-respect and not to be dragged down by other peoples opinions or beliefs on how I should live my life.
I won't lie to you: when you decide to live life like it's yours, a lot will change. With me, I lost most of my so-called 'friends'. My family became more distant with me, and since I couldn't do much about my bosses, I decided to change my job altogether.
At first, it was difficult. I had lived life one way for so long. I didn't know where to begin with my journey of self-respect and new found confidence. One thing I did know, however, I was going to be me, all the way.
There are perks to living life on your own terms. For one, you get to do what you've always wanted to. Ever wanted to bungee jump? Go for it! You don't need negative voices telling you how you might die. Want to go out all night? Who's stopping you!?
At the end of the day, when you decide to stop giving a f*ck what someone else thinks, you get a chance to explore yourself. And when you decide to respect yourself, everyone else will respect you―either that or they'll leave.
In the world we live in today, we are tuned to respecting other peoples opinions. We are taught to put other people first. We are taught to be dependant on others, and live together in harmony. However, there's a reality that's omitted in these teachings. They overlook the fact that the world is cruel. They forget to tell us that kind people are fishes in a tank full of hungry sharks and crocs. They forget to tell us of the women who will claw your face to reach their dreams.
Giving zero f*cks is not easy, you will need to work on it every day. Especially if you're like I was before my paradigm shift. Respecting yourself is even harder, but it is definitely worth it.
So, go out there and be what you want to be, because, at the end of the day, it's only you who matters!