My Reasons To Stop Dating

Jan Phoenix

People say dating offers a magical experience, but I have grown tired of it. Yes, in the beginning, it is all fun and excitement, but as time passes, it starts feeling like a burden. It leaves me feeling like a bird with its wings clipped.

I have decided that its time to take a break from this constant cycle of disappointments so that I can instead start doing things for my own betterment.

Less of him means more of me

When in a relationship, my priority list just changes drastically. All my dreams and goals start to vanish as I begin focusing on him and my love for him and such stuff. But I want to do more for me now. I want to refocus on my own dreams and work toward accomplishing them.

Instead of struggling to balance my time with my friends, boyfriend, and work every day; I can now choose to do what I want to do. Yes, my friends will be happy too now that I won’t have to turn down their requests for a trip down to the beach. I can enjoy and indulge myself in a carefree manner, without getting that guilty feeling of being away from him.

I want to use this saved time by focusing on things I like to do. I am now able to travel as I wish and I will be able to explore my favorite hobbies and who knows; I might even start working on that book I've always dreamt of writing!

Me, myself & I

"You cannot love someone if you do not love yourself."

I Know it's a total cliché, but it is right to the point. How can I expect someone to love or value me when I am not taking the time to appreciate myself? And how can I love myself when I am busy loving the other person?

One of my ex-boyfriends was a self-anointed critique. He criticized almost everyone and everything in my life. The effect of that was that I felt unappreciated and began under-valuing myself. Lost my confidence, lost my Mojo because of him! So now I want to make myself the center of my Universe! Instead of letting someone judge me, I just want to love who I am the way I am.

Re-discover me

Being in a relationship changes a lot about you. Instead of thinking as 'ME’, you start thinking as 'US’ and all the decisions you make get affected the same way. The relationship makes us dependent on each other, and with time, it makes you lose the confidence in yourself.

I want to take this 'Being Single’ time to discover myself. Make myself more confident and self-reliant. I don’t want anyone else to make a decision for me. Instead, I want to work to make myself strong enough to make my own choices and create my own path.

Self- exploration helps a lot in improving oneself, and I know that only a better me can have a better relationship in future.

Right mind, right decision

My last few break-ups have not been so great and have left me wondering about a lot of things in my life. I need time off to figure out what I want from a relationship. I feel while trying to build a good relationship I have just compromised on things I Always wanted out of the very relationship.

I guess that’s what causes the feeling of self-pity after a breakup. I want to meditate, fo for some counseling or even start writing in my diary again to make sure that I never forget what I want in a relationship and keep a healthy state of mind. Until then I just don’t think I can get involved with anyone.

I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. I was once in a relationship with a guy whose sole focus was on himself. At times it even felt like he didn’t give damn about me. So I ended the relationship myself. And the next guy I went out with was sensitive and caring. But the thing is that while I was looking for the lack of things the last guy didn’t have, I overlooked the negatives of this guy. He was extremely possessive and eventually ended in a bad breakup.

That’s why now I want my mind and heart in the right and healthy state before I date someone again. I don’t want to compromise on bad things for some good in a relationship. I don’t want to be in any rush now and be more patient while picking a guy now because I know the more mistakes I make, the less capable I will become at finding the right person.