If You Can't Make Me Your Number One, I Won't Stay to Be Your Number Two

Ricardo Mancia

Dating someone who isn't into you can be torturous. You will spend each day of your life enduring their lies and insane excuses. You will try your best to win their heart and become their priority with no success, but should you put up with such suffering when dating? I believe not. So, I have decided never to let anyone take advantage of my love for them. From today forward, these will be my rules.

1. Show me love or watch me leave.

We are dating, so act like we are. Should you treat me indifferently, expect nothing else but see me leave. No, I will not be mad at you, I won't break your phone or even yell at you. I will just walk away, silently. You will lose me, and someone else will find me. I deserve to be treated with kindness and to be shown affection.

2. Too busy? That's okay; I'm busier.

If you're unable to find time to be with me, don't expect me to include you in my plans either. I will reschedule my timetable to exclude you. You can't expect me to be available only when you want me, but make yourself unavailable when I need you. It won't work.

3. Allow me time to prepare, or don't involve me.

Don't expect that I will be sitting all day long waiting for you to call me with your immediate plans. Don't act like I do nothing in life except think about you. Anytime you say that we should hang out and only give me an hour to prepare, be ready to hear that I'm busy elsewhere. Inform me of your plans early enough if you care about me.

4. Show me that you want to know me or walk away.

Not interested in finding out more about me? I will take it to mean that we have no future together. I will stop telling you about myself. Eventually, I will also fade out of your life. There's no need to waste my precious time forcing myself on you.

5. Late night calls are a no-no.

If you think you can party all night and remember me just when you're drunk and exhausted, then you're mistaken. I won't be picking your late night calls or replying to that late text. You might as well save that energy and leave me to sleep peacefully. There's no way I'm going to let you disrupt my slumber when you had all day long to talk to me but didn't.

6. I won't fight to have you.

If we are dating and you're still subjecting me to competition with your other lovers, I will call it quits. I don't have the time or energy to ward off the people you feel attracted to. I shouldn't have to keep proving my worth to you every single day, so I will choose to leave. It's either you love them or me.

7. I won't buy into your lame excuses.

I understand you can be busy because I also get tied up at times, but if it becomes a kind of song and the excuses appear blatantly insane, I won't take it anymore. I have a life, too. It's only that I try hard not to lack time for you.

8. Trying to ghost me? You're already late.

Your week-long silence won't make me wail. I will only laugh it off as a cowardly act. Maybe it's time you went back to the drawing board because I will have moved on already. Perhaps you should have just spoken up instead of going underground?

9. Come back after the silence and expect the same.

Should you decide to come back to me after ghosting, you will be in for a shock. I will return the favor, perhaps even heavier than yours. If you went silent for one week, I might give you a lifetime.