From that very moment I came to realize that I could actually live through a day without you is the day I knew I had truly lost you. The feeling of true loneliness hits you, and you start to feel like your whole world is crumbling down. I've got to say, I guess I kind of saw it coming. After all, what with all the quarrels, the long silent hours, and late night arrivals and leaves. With time, it kind of started to feel like we were slowly drifting apart.
I will always cherish all the good times and memories we shared together. I still sit back and reminisce about those beautiful photographs that we took together. Those days when things were good. The perfect relationship. The letters you wrote to me, and oh, how can I forget about the beautiful outings. How am I ever going to get over the fact that I lost you? When having you was all I ever needed. But I know deep down that I'm going to have to learn how to live without you, no matter how hard as it will be.
It's still a blur; the wounds in my heart still feel as fresh as if it was just yesterday. It gets to me that we are no longer a thing, not together. Then I start to feel defeated amidst all my cries and sorrows. Why did it have to hurt this much? All the daily fights and quarrels were not healthy. But still, I feel now that I would rather bear them than the thought of losing you. Seeing you walk away and start your whole new life, on that will never have me in it; I feel damaged. All those clothes you left over at my place, I know I need to get rid of them. Yes, I still have the tickets to the movies from our last date. I never thought that that would be our last weekend together. Everything we had is gone. Feels like you got rid of all of my dreams.
I have been mopping my tears off the floor every few hours for the past few months. Well, I say, "NO MORE!" I've cried, I've wept, and I've sobbed; After all, I'm only human, right? Now I know it's time I moved on. The time I start learning how to live without you. Live life having lost you. So far, I am coming to the realization that I can still put up a strong-enough protection shield to protect me and my emotional heart from all the relationship drama. From my personal experience, I now know that nothing lasts forever. I may not see myself as being as trusting and open with my heart in any other relationship. But how will I prove to myself that I have moved on when I still hold so dearly to some long-lost love?
I will face it head-on. I will come to terms with the fact that I lost you. And I will live my life knowing that some time back I knew you. But I know now what I couldn't accept them; I lost you.