Itʼs taken me a good 3 years to be able to sit down and start writing from the end of my book.


We had fought before but never as much as we had this night. I was inebriated, it was the first time I had ever drowned my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle and as dangerous as that path would be to go down…at that moment I didn’t care. I had seen too much, been through too much and felt my heart die in the last few hours. I can’t say what had happened just yet, the story itself is something that will shock many and stun others.


Sitting in the hotel room that afternoon I wondered how he was going to handle the news.


As I looked down at my phone with Hugh’s name sitting so innocently on the screen I was filled with an emotion that I had never felt with him before, pure disgust.


By the time we had reached the border of the crowd I felt as though all eyes were on us. Hugh grabbed my hand and yanked me behind the black curtain that concealed the backstage area. I knew deep down that people weren’t looking at us but considering the circumstances of our relationship my nerves always managed to bring out the worst in me.


As I leant against the balcony, struggling to stand and holding onto the railing for more than just physical support I tried to clear a path in my seriously clouded mind.


Something that I hadn’t been able to put in the book was well and truly before Hugh returned but after I had seen the photos and messages on his phone. After I walked back into the bedroom, completely and utterly disgusted in the human being that I had been sleeping next to only a few hours earlier I realised it wasn’t him that I was actually angry with.


The moment I reached the ground floor I realized that my world would never be the same.


I never expected to be writing this letter.


"Ava, How many times are we going to go over this. I want to be here" As soon as the words came out of his mouth my head was filled with doubts.


I haven’t continued this on from the last confession for a number of reasons but I will be giving you something that isn’t in my book.


*Any entries from Hugh's perspective are very fiction based some are also infused with conversations we have had and my interpretations*


When I was younger I had grown up around a lot of people as my parents were very social. There was one man that was quite close to my uncle and my mother and father.


Waking up the next day I felt fresh and bursting with anticipation...almost like the nights sleep had left me with a new exciting lease on life.