I always stuck around in awful relationships, hoping the guys would one day realize my value. I knew I deserved to be treated well and I should never settle for less. Somehow, I kept telling myself the less I had accepted, may get better. It never did. Recently, I learned the truth. No matter how basic or complicated you may be, you deserve the best there is from your man.
You deserve consistency.
When I started dating my ex, he would call daily just to check up on me. A few weeks later, he stopped. We would even go for a week without him calling me, claiming he was busy. It wasn't until we broke up that I realized that the lack of consistency in his affection hurt me. We all have annoying traits; maybe it's a need for constant reassurance, but even in the most unlovable state, you deserve someone who is patient. He should love you the same on the good and bad days. You need someone who will not get tired or leave. You need someone whose feelings are not conditional on your mood, and most importantly someone who will stay.
Choose the guy that treats you right.
He should randomly buy you flowers, chocolates and hold your hand. Someone who calls, schedules dates instead of taking you to his bedroom every time. He should make you feel important with his actions and not just his words. He should not be shy to introduce you as his girlfriend, and he should be man enough to say sorry when he is on the wrong not play the victim.
You deserve someone who is affectionate and shows it.
We are often tuned to believe men are emotionless creatures. I believed in this stereotype and used it as an excuse to defend my ex. He hardly said he loved me or showed me his feelings. Being in that situation, I always questioned what he felt for me. I now know you deserve to be told you are loved. He should cuddle you and kiss you when you wake up. He should appreciate and compliment you. My advice is, choose someone who is sentimental and is not afraid to get cheesy
You deserve who sees a future with you.
It can get scary to make future plans with your partner, and it's even scarier to tell him what you want for a future. We are afraid we may scare guys away with our hopes and dreams. It may be a trip to another country, a movie scheduled to be released next year or moving in together. Be with someone who plans and dreams with you, and is committed to making them a reality with you.
You deserve a guy who chooses you.
You should never question your position in his life. In a relationship, you are not meant to fight for his attention. You are not a mere distraction when his friends are unavailable, or he is not playing games. He should choose to spend quality time with you. He should clearly show and state how important you are in his life. He should be someone who is equally willing to fight for you. You deserve a relationship where his actions that match his words.