Do you want to be in love but once things start getting serious, you sabotage the relationship? Are you scared to love? Or be loved? You meet a guy, you like him, and then you start to see each other more often, you get intimate, and things look great.
But suddenly you start thinking of all the reasons why this relationship is not going to work out. You want to nip this relationship in the butt rather than let it evolve into something beautiful and unique. You could be running from love for so many reasons. Let’s discuss some of those reasons.
Why is your heart still closed?
Even though you think you are ready to date and be in a relationship, your heart is not sure. Maybe it’s still hung over some other person, or it’s the memories of past relationships that haunt you.
Have you been betrayed in the past? Did they break your heart? The reason could be anything, but it’s currently casting a shadow over your present relationship.
You feel it’s too good to be true.
When things go really good in our relationships, we tend to second-guess things. Your relationship might make you feel you are walking on air, but doubts start to creep in. But the truth is the more you begin to look for trouble, the more likely you are going to find some.
No one is perfect. Flaws are what make a person unique. But if you are nit-picking each of single one of his flaws, just to stir up a fight or feel less anxious, then you need to stop and contemplate about your actions.
You are scarred by your previous relationship.
The last relationship you were in was terrible. Your ex was a manipulative, insensitive person who didn’t give a shit about your feelings. But now that relationship is over. You have met this incredible guy, and you feel the potential of a great relationship. So what do you do? Leave. And why? Because you are scared of getting hurt again. You let your horrible past relationships reign over the current one, even though this guy is nothing like your ex. You are scared that this will turn into yet another relationship failure for you and you are not ready for that.
Giving yourself in a relationship and trusting the other person is vulnerable and is really scary. But if you ever want to be happy again, you need to let your guards down. You need to stop blaming and punishing the right guy for the mistakes of the wrong guy.
You are scared by your partner’s imperfections.
When you nit-pick at your partner’s behavior, it’s not because you are perfect. It’s because deep down you are afraid of receiving love or you are just not ready for a real relationship. If only he could stop being messy, if only he would earn more, if only he’d be more social; then he would be perfect.
You try to change him. And when you can’t, you become disappointed and then have this strong urge to leave, thinking he doesn’t love you enough.
But your boyfriend is not perfect, and neither are you. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. So what is the solution? You need to accept your partner for who he is. Love is not about molding him into a better version of himself or the version you appreciate. It’s about loving him unconditionally, with all his flaws; As he does too. You can’t make him perfect, but you can make your love perfect by not finding his flaws and letting him be.
You hate being vulnerable.
Your fear of being vulnerable to other human being is possibly the reason you are missing out on love. There is hardly any person in this world-class male or female who doesn’t want to be loved.
But the fear of getting hurt overcomes the desire to be loved. You are so afraid that if you open yourself to your partner, let him know the deepest side of you and be truly honest with him, he will eventually use it against you and break your heart. And so you run.
But the truth is the walls need to come down if you want to find true love. These sky-high walls will only create fantasies version of love, which is not true and which you don’t deserve. But remember, you deserve all the happiness in this love, and you deserve love.