I am not oblivious to the fact that having to get someone you share a family bond with out of your life can be painful and overwhelming.
Families are held together by ties that go far beyond many other kinds of connections in life. When these bonds are broken, they are bound to leave an indelible mark. As we all understand, family should be there for you no matter what.
But a time comes when you realize that you are better off without the toxicity the family member is bringing into your life, and the best thing for you is to get them out of your life.
It does not make you a good family member when you compromise your mental and physical wellbeing for the sake of a toxic family member.
Just so that you are sure, here are signs that it’s time to let go of a toxic family member.
1. They are judgmental.
Don’t get it twisted, there is good and bad criticism. However, when this criticism goes over and beyond turns into judgment and clear attempts to demean you at the expense of your peace of mind, then it is no longer worth tolerating. In these scenarios, it is worth breaking away from the relationship in order to improve the quality of your life.
2. They only care about what you can offer.
This is a family member who will not give a damn about you or what you need whenever you require the support of any kind but will want you to make their needs a priority when they need you. These kinds of people can drain your energy and make you fatigued from having to put up with their narcissism all the time.
3. They gaslight you.
This is when a family member stubbornly insists on never saying or doing something when you know that you are saying the truth. This is a form of manipulation supposed to make you doubt yourself and become powerless to them to the point of even doubting your own sanity.
4. They switch from positive to negative reinforcement in an instant.
In this scenario, the family member will harshly chastise you and then turn around and seem supportive the next minute to win your trust once more. The problem is that they cannot take being ignored and will do whatever it takes to get your attention.
5. Too much drama.
When a family member wants to create family drama at all costs, at the expense of everyone else, then they are worth staying away from for your own good. Such family members will usually betray other people and expose their vulnerabilities just to create some drama in their lives. Blood or not, it is not worth putting up with such people.
Living with a family member who shows you any of these signs can be a toxic mental experience. While you can try and do something to alter their behavior, a time might come when cutting ties is the best option for you.
This can be difficult when you are too close, such as when the said family member is a sibling or a parent. And so, when you decide that you are going to cut ties, expect to go through feelings of guilt, pain and even doubt.