We have all heard of Narcissism and the people who behave like this are without doubt the cruellest we encounter. They lack empathy and will destroy anything and everything that stands in their way, whether it is a child or partner.
The narcissist is skilled in the art of trickery and a master of deception, they will always manage to find the right angle to point the blame away from themselves, so that those around them are held accountable for any wrong doings.
Much is written about the Narcissistic parent or partner, but not much is written about the Narcissist as a friend.
When I became aware of Narcissism and the damage to a person that comes with it, my eyes were opened not only on an intimate level, but also that some so-called friends were in fact Narcissists too.
Red Flags to look out for a Narcissistic friend:
1. Selfies, selfies everywhere. They absolutely love posting pictures of themselves, they flood social media whether it be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snap chat, Google or Tumblr. I’m are not on about just one a day, but anything up to 20 pictures a day.
2. They thrive and enjoy talking about other people and their imperfections. They have real issues if someone better than them. To make themselves feel better they will start talking about a friend who is doing good for themselves, in life, in a negative way, jealous much?
3. They are the ultimate insecure people. They will make up all sort of incredible stories about themselves that simply aren’t true. Someone who is insecure about themselves will also point out someone else’s faults just to make themselves feel better about themselves. People who are happy and confident themselves never need to point out the fault’s others. Ever.
4. Narcissistic friends see themselves as superior, “special” compared to others. To remain and maintain that feeling of superiority he or she will frequently devalue other people and actively tries to make them feel inferior. The narcissist insists on being the centre of attention and feels betrayed if their friends don’t follow their lead. A narcissistic friend will expect you to hold the same opinions as them and not disagree.
5. Zero empathy. A narcissistic friend will demonstrate zero empathy. A lack of empathy is one of the most defining characteristics of a narcissist. They are unable to put themselves in another person’s shoes or understand the other person’s feelings.
6. Gaslighting. A narcissistic friend will do this to crush you. You will find yourself in the cycle of second-guessing yourself; your feelings, your perceptions, your memories, and you will begin to wonder if you are going crazy. They will accuse you of saying and doing things that you know you haven’t done, but you do get to the point where you wonder if they are right and you are wrong.
7. Back Stabbers. Narcissists are the biggest back stabbers of all. They will play the game of picking sides and will play friends off against each other, which causes immense distress. They will then step in and play the saviour, what the circle of friends do not see until it is too late, is it was the narcissist that caused the problem in the first place. They feed off of the negative attention when friends side against each other. Be aware and stay out of such circles.
8. They make you feel like you are the guilty one. Guilt is their favorite way to attack, control and manipulate people. It gives them the negative attention they crave, they feel powerful when you need to apologise and work hard to earn back their trust. Do not apologise. Maintain your stance and remove yourself from any interaction with them.
9. Emotional Vampires. You simply will never find any joy around them. They’re more than just a little problem in your life; they make it impossible to enjoy things even things you love when they’re around. Whatever you do, don’t mention your plans for any kind of special event, they will literally shit all over it and ruin it for you and others in attendance. Avoid talking about good things with them, as they will dissect and find fault in all you’ve enjoyed about it, you’ll find all the happy in your life sucked dry.
10. Me me, me. Everything is about them. Nothing you have going on in your life is valid to them. All that is important to you is nothing to them. Your opinion doesn’t matter, they are the ultimate arbiter of what is interesting or good or correct. They have absolutely no problem steamrolling over you to talk about themselves. The only person who is important in the circle of friends is themselves. Time to get a new circle, right?
You will find other, better, real friends out there, ones who actually treat you as a friend instead of a punching bag.
Once you remove these toxic friends out of your life, you will find that you feel better, that your life is better overall. Life’s too short to let people steal joy from you. Take your life back. Take your self-esteem back. Firm up your boundaries and dump your toxic friends once and for all.