Falling in love has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? It sort of implies that the person involved has no control over themselves. That they are so helplessly drawn to another person that they practically become puppets in each other hands.
But no, that is not what mature relationships are like. In a mature relationship, the partners have some level of control over the relationship and even themselves. So, people in this kind of relationship don't fall in love in the traditional way. They choose love, and they own it and make it work to their mutual benefit.
And when you come to think of it, this is what real love should be really about. It's said that the heart loves what the heart loves, suggesting that you have no say in the person you choose to call the love of your life. But that is a bit of stretch because you can learn to love almost anyone. And that's because you can fully control how much to love another person. In short, you can decide who will be the target of the love you feel in your heart. If you have a problem believing so, then that's a very naive look at the concept of love.
Consider all the couples falling out of love. That only happens because the love they had for each other was immature. They think they can give in to love and let it lead them where they want to be, not realizing that they have to take the reigns and use this love to achieve their goals as a couple. That is what we are calling an immature look at love.
To begin with, love is not as hard as some people make it out to be. There shouldn't be excess drama and chaos in love. If it takes too much effort to bring out the love, then what you have is anything but love. Love has certain traits. It makes you happy, for one. It is a little laid back, and yes, that is not entirely a bad thing. It has a lot of other perks as well. But the problem with many young couples is that they think of love as a thrill, and that is why that love never matures.
True love calms and comforts you. You feel inner peace from deep within when there is true love between the two of you. Love puts a protective layer around you so that the harsh realities of life don't affect you as much. Mature love does not stir any doubts within you as far as the love your partner has for you is concerned.
In mature loving relationships, partners desire comfort and stability the most. But immature relationships make drama and creating an interesting story a priority. Here are some differences between mature and immature love.
Immature relationships are consumed by insecurity. There will be usually so many doubts and insecurities. Mature relationships, on the other hand, have answers to any issues that pop up.
In immature relationships, the focus for the partners is on the wants. But with mature relationships, needs are the main focus.
In immature relationships, the relationship makes individuals lose their identities. However, mature relationships promote individuality because it is understood that individuals make the relationship work.
In immature relationships, people feel like they cannot chase their individual goals for the sake of the relationship. But in mature relationships, people are encouraged to chase after their goals or dreams.
Important relationship questions in immature relationships are discussed over the phone. However, mature relationships discuss important issues in person as this is the best way to communicate and interact.
In immature relationships, things are usually very unnatural. Therefore, things tend to be a little forced. However, in mature relationships, people learn to adapt to each other's needs.
Since an immature relationship is besieged by insecurities, it is more likely to fail. However, a mature relationship has no such issues and is more likely to succeed.
An immature relationship is doomed to failure, and one day, that is bound to happen. However, mature relationships always have a way of making it through whatever life challenges emerge along the way.