The wedding bells are ringing, and the entire neighborhood is in a buzz. The excitement is evident, but the apprehension is creating the suspension. One by one, people who are my age are tying the note and settling down to live happily ever after.
Happily?! The thought of that word seems to be echoing in my ears, and I sit back to find the true definition of, 'happiness.' Perhaps, the term is not meant for everyone, but only a handful.
My conscious is slowly taking a toll on me. That is when I feel like all eyes are on my back for apparently being single with no reasons.
As they say, “the shoe pinches the wearer," and the pain from that experience is excruciating every passing moment.
Will I continue living this way for what happened in the past? Will the past remain a constant reminder of my predicament? Maybe yes, or time will heal the wounds.
A few tears back
Prior to my current situation (out of choice), I knew for sure that my path to true happiness was imminent. Love was in the air, and we were the talk of the town. My fiancé and I were at the center of admiration, and everyone confirmed that we were indeed a perfect match.
That was quite encouraging and motivation for venturing deeper into the realms of a love life. I was young, wild and full of life. To me, it was a noble step into adulthood, or so I thought.
A few days into our engagement, everything took a new turn. The man I trusted for what seemed to be the best years of my life was a deadbeat father. He was leading a double life with numerous cases of child negligence.
At first, the story did not sound true to me, but after double checking, I found myself at the wit's end. Heartbreak, shame, and emptiness overwhelmed me to the point of depression.
That was when I realized that a woman loves the heart. My heart was pierced, and the scar still remains. My life changed drastically, and I was reborn into what I am today.
Our family relocated to a new town, and I vowed to lead a solitary life. That was my decision henceforth.
A solitary life is now part and parcel of me. Many times I get potential partners but the reminiscence of the past is still vivid. I feel some happiness in me despite the emptiness, but that is my choice.
I believe in the common saying that you only live once, and I'm living my life to the fullest. The memory of the past still haunts me to this day, but my choice came with consequences; the stigma.
I lead a life without a partner, and friends and neighbors find it outrageous. In fact, they have come up with all sorts of theories surrounding the way I live.
From speculation, a majority judge me so harshly. They think I have some kind of weird character that hinders me from settling down or maybe I fear responsibility.
If only they knew why I chose that path they would come forth and apologize. Since they are in the dark, it doesn't bother me anymore.
To make it clear, a woman can choose to stay single without a male partner for a number of reasons. Once scorned, the aftermath remains for eternity, and her life takes an entirely new course.
Whichever the course, the society at large will judge it anyhow. As a matter of fact, no one should decide your destiny. Choose your path and follow it.
Happiness does not mean that you must have a male partner. Alternatively, you can take care of yourself and at the end of the day; you retire to bed in a relaxing mood.
Furthermore, your attention is not divided, and your emotion is not focused on what is elusive. Your life is not a dice where it is cast to determine your fate. Take full responsibility for your destiny.
To have a life partner is an excellent choice and to live without it is even better. Unless you have the right person, who puts a smile on your face, enjoy your single moment as it lasts.
Whatever the case, always remember your glorious past, appreciate the present and embrace the future as it comes.