Many people fantasize about building a family and having some kids. And this all seems beautiful when you imagine the quality time you will have with your family, and how you will nurture them into responsible and successful adults. The rewards of parenting are well documented, but there are a few unconvincing reasons not to have kids. Apparently, having kids is not all it’s made out to be. According to this new study, you might even be better off without them. Here are the reasons why.
Being a parent is a miserable experience. So says a study that was published in the journal, Demography. So, if you had any illusions about parenthood making your life more exciting, you might want to seriously rethink your decision to have kids.
Before people became parents, they admitted to wanting to have more kids. However, after the first child, they quickly changed their minds and rethought their decision to add more members to the family. Being made miserable by parenthood made many parents have fewer kids than they first intended.
After having a child, many people ended up being miserable afterward. Although many people will never admit that being a mom or a dad is a bad experience, many people demonstrated being less satisfied with their lives years after having a child.
While many people might think that it would be reasonable to be miserable after having a child as part of postpartum blues, studies have shown that the ill feelings go well beyond this period. While it’s true that having another being who is totally dependent on your after birth can take a lot out of you as you have to deal with lack of sleep and exhaustion, the reduced satisfaction with life goes on even after a year or so. As a matter of fact, it was discovered that after a year or two, that is when the parents truly began feeling miserable, not when the babies were young and keeping them awake with their incessant crying and need for attention.
It turns out that having a first child is pretty bad. It can make you feel less happy than going through a divorce. According to the participants, it was even worse than losing a partner or even a job. That might sound as shocking as it is harsh, considering that most parents insist that parenthood is the best thing that ever happened to them.
All these findings should come as a shock to many. And let’s face it, the study is obviously limited as it considers the first two years of a child’s life. Maybe parents felt more satisfaction with parenthood once kids entered school. It is entirely possible that the feelings or misery are deeply pronounced in the first years of life, and not in later years when the kids grow up and become less dependent on their parents.