Narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance, as well as a deep need for attention. They also lack empathy and will lash out at any perceived threat to their self-esteem.
Narcissists are not always easy to identify. However, if you suspect that your boyfriend or partner has a narcissistic personality, then the following signs will help you help you confirm the truth.
1. They feel, as though that they are never in control. This allows narcissists never to be responsible for any of their mistakes. It also allows them to blame others, because if they're not in control, then they are not to blame for their mistakes.
2. They easily recall past insults, particularly those that have damaged their self-image. For example, if a narcissist had once been embarrassed by a dog, then he or she may develop a strong dislike for dogs.
Past embarrassments may also cause narcissists to lash out randomly, even in situations where there is nothing to remind them of past humiliations.
3. Narcissists don't like being asked to account for their actions. Not only do they not want to take responsibility, admitting their mistakes implies that they're not as perfect as they pretend to be.
4. They may lash out when you catch them doing something wrong or breaking the rules. They may then turn the issue around by accusing you or someone else of their mistakes.
For example, if they accidentally break a vase, they may blame the accident on the vase's location, or they might blame the person who placed the vase in the location. They will never blame themselves.
5. They get angry when they are denied access, exception or permission of some kind. In such cases, the narcissist will feel that the other party is victimizing them. They may also start to see those who oppose them as enemies who want nothing more than to humiliate them.
In contrast, ordinary people don't feel victimized when they are denied something. They either accept the rejection and move on, or they try to get what they want by negotiating. They don't lash out.
6. They get angry when they are not the center of attention. They feel that they are purposely being excluded or the group is hostile to them. In some cases, they may go to another group and start spreading vicious rumors about the people who ignored them.
7. They take all form of criticism badly, including positive criticism. This is because they perceive criticisms as thinly veiled attacks on their character. In other words, they consider even the most polite, positive and constructive criticisms as thinly veiled personal attacks.
8. They get outraged when they don't get their own way. Narcissists believe that they only ask for things that are owed to them, so depriving them of such things will be interpreted as stealing or worse.
But it’s very important not to put the focus on the fact that the teenager is upset. Instead, let them feel or know that they have a right to be upset, as that is the only way to get to a point where a solution to the problem would be welcome or even useful.
Overreacting will only make the crisis worse. So, when your teenage child is having a breakdown, it is not time to issue threats or ultimatums. Trying to offer solutions, however well-intended, will not help either.
Your child is not broken, he/she is slowly recreating who they are so that they can finally mature.
So, when you see a teen in a crisis, the first thing you should do is calm them down. Everything else comes later.