Even Though Domestic Violence Is Still Present Some Victims Will Drop Their Restraining Orders

Abuse is never the victim’s fault.

A woman was being relentlessly stalked by her ex-husband. She had the proof and provided her lawyer with the proof.

There were aggressive text messages, voicemails of a threatening manner, countless police reports, but she was afraid.

She has a temporary restraining order, and the lawyer was working hard on obtaining a permanent restraining order when suddenly out of the blue a few days prior to the hearing she dropped the case.

This is not unusual.

It is disheartening for the lawyers especially when they have such a strong case and want to do all they can to keep their client safe, but they are also aware that fear of repercussions plays a major role in the case being dropped by the victim of domestic violence.

There are many reasons they drop the case, but the main five that stand out are:

Reconciliation:

Loved ones are the ones who perpetrate domestic violence. Leaving a loved one is hard even where abuse is involved.  They are on a cycle of violence that they see no way out of. The abuse occurs, then the abuser claims they are sorry and that they love them, things settle down, only for it to then start again within a few days.

Children:

This is one of the biggest reasons why cases are dropped. Undue pressure is applied to the victim by the abuser, using the children as pawns in the game of pain.

Being a single parent has its own challenges and for some victims, the thought of parenting alone is just too much for them to consider.

Lack of support:

Survivors of abuse need a strong support system, and for some, it just isn’t there for them. What is worse is that support they thought would be there can often be denied to them.

Culture, finances, religion and family dynamics play a massive role in the decision to drop cases.

Family or friends who they believed would support them suddenly are not, and even encourage them to return to the abuser.

Legal delays:

The courts have a lot to answer for in regard to delays. Yes, they need to obtain facts and evidence, but they do need to be doing more in regard to protecting the person and/or children where abuse has been alleged.

Constant court hearings and repeated delays will wear a victim down to the point they just want to get off the merry go round and make everything stop.

Victim blaming:

The abuser will never admit they are at fault. They will go to great lengths to get away with the abuse if they can. They will shift the blame onto the victim and even the children.

Currently, the legal system is seriously flawed when dealing with victims of domestic violence, and their hands are tied by laws that should be reviewed.

Please remember it is not your fault; try and persevere with your legal team, and whatever your abuser claims will happen because of you won’t!

What happens to them is because of them only!

Abuse is never the victim’s fault.