This isn't the first time she threatened to leave and never come back. This isn't the first time she looked you dead in the eyes and proclaimed her hatred for you. You're probably staring at your phone waiting for her to call you and beg for forgiveness. Unfortunately for you, this time she really does means it.
In all honesty, she never wanted to give you a chance the first time you met. She knew you were another bad boy chasing tail, not a care in the world. She knew she couldn't tame you and rid you of your wild ways. Of course, her friends tried warning her about your infamous escapades; they knew that your intentions weren't pure. Despite all this, she still gave you a fair chance.
What girl doesn't want a rebellious hunk taking her along on his wild adventures? What girl doesn't lose herself to the mysterious ways of a bad boy? Deep down she had always wanted to know what it was like living a life with no direction, a life where no plans are made, and all decisions are made based on excitement. Your boyish innocence and bad boy charm had her head in a spin.
She really believed in you and all your nonsense. She really believed she could take you to the next level of your existence. She wasted her precious time and energy trying to help you sober up and finally find a sense of direction. She really believed that her love would save you from all the depression and anxiety you try to self-medicate yourself from.
Remember when you confided in her about your terrible childhood? Remember when she helped you get past some of that trauma? She knew that beneath the bad boy facade you were a weak man with nothing much to offer her. Despite all your imperfections she defended you and stood up for you when your insecurities started to surface.
Weren't you the one who got down on your knees and begged for a second chance the first time she cut you off? Weren't you the one who promised to change once she stopped taking your excuses seriously?
The sad truth is that you still haven't truly grasped the extent of your loss and that time will make the reality even more evident.
Maybe the universe will give you another woman who has the strength to heal you, but until then karma has to play its part. You're destined to keep wandering the earth in search of a woman who can rid you of your demons. You're destined to feel all the pain that she felt when you weren't there for her.
You lost the one girl who truly saw the man inside you. You lost the one girl who truly loved you. You lost the girl who truly wanted to be yours.