A Letter To The Girl Who Survived Narcissistic Abuse

You have been through more than you can describe. When you say you have been to hell and back, you mean it.

And yes, maybe there are women out there who can understand what you have been through because they have experienced something similar as well. But no two stories are ever the same. Also, there is definitely no way someone who hasn’t experienced the tough times you have been through could understand you.

This explains why telling your story is so painful, and it is shattering to hear them say they understand, especially when they say you are to blame for staying long past when you should have called it quits.

But it’s not exactly their fault. They have never been through what you have endured, they cannot see your bleeding heart, and they could not even begin to imagine the sort of pain you have felt.

The truth is that he told you he loved you, and you believed his every word. In him, you saw the love of your life. He made you feel special, that you were all he ever wanted in life.

But then, all he gave you was endless pain.

You never saw it coming, and when things got tough, all you could do was hope for the best. And don’t think that you should have been wiser or more cautious.

Nobody grows up being an expert at seeing through the pretenses, and your narcissistic tormentor was an expert at camouflage.

He was good and caring, and he did everything right, and it all seemed like a dream come true. He made you believe he was the best you could get, that his concern for you was real. He went all the way to reassure you and to keep you hooked.

Then things took a turn for the worse.

But it started bit by bit. He wanted you to keep up with the changes so that in the end, you would get used to the pain. His intention was to make sure you would put up with him once his real self was revealed.

He wanted you to fall deeply so that you would not give up when this finally happened.

So, you started to blame yourself because things are going wrong. You could not, for the life of you, figure out where it all went so wrong.

Except that there is nothing to correct because things going wrong was the initial plan.

What made it worse was that you could not let go. You fought, but it was an unwinnable battle. You still had feelings for him.

In the end, you had to reach a compromise and take off. But the toxic feelings still linger within you. You were sorry, even though it was never your fault. Yes, you blamed yourself for his mistakes.

But understand this, none of what happened was ever your fault. There wasn’t anything you could have done differently. He went out of his way to make sure things turned out the way they did, and no one could have seen it coming.

You are not a victim. You overcame and are a survivor. You are a little broken, but no one in this world is whole. You are a little afraid, but we all are.

It’s not over for you. This is the beginning you need.

There is no past to run away from. You have a beautiful future ahead of you that you need to embrace with both hands.

Let the pain and the anguish out, take pride in who you are. You might still have the scars, but you are wiser and now you know that you are stronger than you ever imagined.

A little patience can help. The light will enter through the wounds. So, what you have now is an opportunity for joy and fulfillment in your life. Be strong and take pride in that, a bright future awaits you. Don’t keep looking back, you conquered that already.