You maybe have seen different forms of abuse masquerading as love throughout your life. Maybe watching popular movies, where a man essentially stalks a woman when she's made it clear she’s not interested. Or maybe you’ve seen abuse in your own life, with family or significant others making you feel you're not good enough. That is not true love.
Abuse isn't only physical abuse. Emotional abuse can easily happen in a relationship without you noticing. You may think they're just having a bad day, or that it was all your fault. A man should never come home from a hard day at work and start yelling at you and blaming you. That isn't love, it's abuse.
You should never feel like you have nothing else without him. In a real relationship, you would never feel small and broken down. A man should never put you down or make you feel embarrassed about yourself. A good man would only ever make you feel beautiful in your own skin and would build you up. A man who insults his loved ones is not a real man.
Relationships should never be scary. In a healthy relationship, you can emotionally vulnerable with your significant other. You should be able to cry and know he’ll be there to comfort you, never making fun of you. You should be able to have disagreements without worrying if he’ll get mad and blow up at you. If you feel like you're always walking on eggshells around them, that's not real love.
In a healthy relationship, a man would never lie to you. You should never have to worry about where they are if they're home late.
A good man would try to give you everything he could, not withhold things. A man should never intentionally withhold affection or love from you. He would still tell you he loves you, even after an argument. Withholding affection is a way to punish someone and to exercise power and control. A man trying to control you is never real love. A very big red sign of an abusive relationship is trying to keep you from others. In an abusive relationship, a man might try to keep you from your friends and family. He might say he doesn't like them or make you believe your friends and family don't like you.
That is a way to alienate you from the people you love so you don't have people to reach out to for help. This would never happen in a good relationship. After all of this, you might still stay with him. He has made you believe that you're ugly and worthless. You’ve been torn down by him insulting you and blaming you for everything. You might even believe this is all your fault.
After alienating you from your friends and family, you don't even have someone to turn to for help. The way out of this is to respect, love, and care for yourself. If you respect yourself, you would never let someone treat you this way. Always be careful and look out for any of these signs. Know that a good man would never abuse you disrespect you. True love never hurts.